I SHAKE MY HEAD

Does whipped cream really have a season, or can it be enjoyed all year round? Is there a right way or a wrong way to do “girl lunch” and "girl dinner,” or are we just making up food rules for fun? Do leftovers have a 24-hour expiry, or are we living on the edge by keeping turkey for day two or is it time we admit we just toss them after pretending to care? Why does opening garbage bags have to be so hard, and will the struggle ever end? If you can’t decide which is worse, a trapeze artist with

Is the fridge light the greatest mystery of modern times or just a conspiracy waiting to be cracked? Is it blind faith to trust the cold glow disappears or do we need hidden camera evidence and a magnifying glass à la Sherlock Holmes? Does your trust in “the lady” in your GPS run so deep you’d make a U-turn on a six-lane Toronto street because she told you to? Is Brad Pitt missing the point of porn, or is he just officially an old man? Is the World Robot Games fascinating or kind of terrifying

Why do some people power-walk like they're in a marathon, while others prefer a leisurely, scenic saunter? Is life meant to be experienced at top speed, or should we take time to enjoy our surroundings especially if your walking partner’s 10 feet ahead and not looking back? Should junk food like Oreos ever be zero sugar, or is that just a cruel twist of fate for snack lovers? Do hotel breakfast buffets ever get it right, or does mystery ketchup in a communal bowl signal it’s time to order off t

Why is it always the middle seat people who become armrest renegades do the rules of air travel mean nothing anymore? Has your bond with ChatGPT reached slightly scary heights, and did you just admit it’s a better friend than most humans? And does anyone else wonder if you’ll wake up one day to your friend introducing their virtual pal as the next big thing in the friend group chat? Since when did trying every ice cream sample become an Olympic sport like are you competing for gold in Tiger Tige

Is fudging your step count in your head a sign of creative genius or simply self-delusion at its finest? Can solo car concerts uncover your hidden inner rockstar, or are you simply harmonizing (badly) with Tommy Tutone and the Lord as your only audience? Is there such a thing as a “perfect note” or are we still chasing that mythical high from one fluke karaoke moment? Why are people wearing neck pillows through the airport like it’s a fashion statement? And would you ever ride a suitcase that fo

Is hauling around a giant water bottle now society’s loudest status symbol? Have you ever considered carrying one empty just to fit in, only to worry people would notice you’re faking your hydration? Could you pass the “don’t eat anything served through a window” diet, or do you secretly love “window food” just as it is? What’s your stance on messy lawns and the metaphorical bush do you “trim” for society or dance to the beat of your own weed-whacker? Is the exhaustion real after coming back fr

If potatoes are just vessels, does that mean a loaded baked potato is really just a cheesy, bacon-y salad bowl like, should we be asking for salad dressing on the side too? Were we all brainwashed into accepting QR code menus, is it really hospitality if you’re hunched over your phone squinting at appetizers with your data draining faster than your will to tip? Is packing for vacation just saying "let’s throw buns in a bag and pray nothing goes moldy," and does fighting over who makes coffee cou

Why is it that you can leave the house feeling like a million bucks, but the second you catch your reflection sideways in a grocery store freezer door, it's like bam who invited the arm flap to the party? Was there ever a meal more fraught with betrayal than hotel scrambled eggs pretending to be luxury? Why do mediocre eggs taste five-star when you’re shoehorned into a lobby chair with limp sausage beside you and a cup of “free” coffee? Can we talk about KFC nostalgia for a second—when did fin